I dream of you almost every day – 
That’s not true
I dream of you very often – 
Or really like sometimes
But in all my dreams
We fail to connect
In the way that my waking mind wishes
I see you in my dreams
Cooking
With your back towards me
Or working in a city that I come to visit
But somehow, we can’t find each other
No matter how hard I try in my dream
Something keeps us apart
In my last dream
You saw me and wanted to say hi before I was leaving
And I wanted to see you, too, before I left 
I forgot something though
So I went back to the room to get it
And when I came back out
I saw that you staked out a spot
To be sure to run into me or see me before I left
You said hi
And so did I
I had butterflies in my stomach
Because I think I was anticipating a bigger reaction
And I was about to give you one
But somehow, in the seconds between your hi and non-reaction
I got deterred
So all I said was hi
And seemingly kept it moving
Until I left your city again
As what happens
Over and over again
In my dreams 

Sometimes I feel unpretty
Running circles around my life 
In an effort not to remember 
What I can’t forget 
That night and many nights when he – 
I try to forget and I remember 
That I can’t control the fact that it happened 
The way it did, or why it did, or when it did 
Where were you when I needed you?
I cried so many times 
People couldn’t hear me 
My tears were silent 
My smile was louder
My face was plastered
My mind disconnected 
I blame her
I know I shouldn’t 
They say not to 
But that is why she’s so hard
She wants to prove to herself that she won’t break 
That no one else will break her or invade the space 
That she’s made sacred:
Her world, her heart 
She suffers from grief 
That he made gray 
And she listens to the sadness 
That drowns out the music in her ears 
He is gone
But somehow it feels as if he has never left